Trip to Korea!!!!!!

Overwhelming frusration & fatigue & disappointment!!!

So, it was 2 days in TPM for nothing!!! as if that's not enuff.. i jz received message that we might or might not have class tom.. so wut r we supposed to do?? hang around there again & wait?? i've piano class tom & i've ady cancelled so many classes jz to accommodate for this change of schedule.. i'm really freaking pissed right now.. not to say freaking disappointed!!! how can they do this to us??? my piano teacher is so gonna kill me for this.. & i'm so tempted to initiate butt kicking session!!! ish.. i'm so darn frustrated now!! i dunno wut to do!!! should i cancel my piano class or should i keep it & not go for the class?? wut if i cancel piano lesson & go back to col but they said it only commences on mon?? urgh!! i'm so tired of thinking!!! my brain hurts.. wished that they're more organized.. i like my course & i like it there.. won't wanna end up switching col jz cz of this.. but i can't be changing my piano teacher's schedule all the time!! tht would be so unfair for her!!! i for once is very against ppl foiling up my plans.. & i definitely won't wanna do that to others.. oh God!! such a simple matter yet with huge dillemma!!! sobz..

However, i guess God has been fair.. i had a great time with the JSers again!! although i had to watch Poseidon again but i have to admit i had a great time!! not with the movie but with my frenz.. celebrated Ian's birthday & went on with our normal lepaking & our normal laughter that fills the air of the whole midvalley.. how can we not when we have Erreekka & Lawrence around?? hehe.. i really thank God for these people God has brought into my life.. being able to spend time with them is truly my pleasure.. it's alwiz a pleasure & it's alwiz nice to see u JSers again!! oohh.. before signing out..

HAPPIE BURFDAY IAN!!!!

NO!!!! Extended Hol!!

My 1 week of hols is finally over.. so, i went back to col on monday.. which was yesterday.. only to find out tht our timetable for this semester is not out yet.. & our classes only commence next mon.. so, technically i've 1 more week extended holiday.. wut the.. sigh.. i'm gonna have to rot at home with my exam pieces for 1 whole week.. they should hv at least informed us at least before the hols & not make us go to col for nothing.. & they made us go back to col today to confirm our exemptions & the subjects we're taking.. spend another day in col for nothing.. sigh.. but anyhow, finally, they confirmed my exemptions but will only be goin off to california in august next year.. however, i've to score at least a B for every subject!! sobz.. how am i gonna do tht?? i can't even guarantee or convince myself to score a C.. i hope God grants me miracles & blessings.. sighz.. then there r all the weird electives.. wut has performing arts, anthropology & psychology has to do with biotechnology? i mean i understand y business ethics is in but performing arts?? wut the heck?? & the worst part is i've to work equally hard for these subjects so tht i could score a minimum B.. this is SO frustrating!!! i seriously hope i could finish by July next year.. there's 10 more subjects to cover.. well, at least i've frenz to teman me through.. it's better than goin through it alone.. God!!! grant me the strength & the confidence man.. at the edge of freaking out here.. anthropology sounds freaky & i dun even noe wut the heck is it.. sobz.. however, i'm looking forward to organic chemistry though.. it has been my fave subject since.. since.. form 4 i think.. sigh.. memory deteriorating.. eyesight depreciating.. intelligence goin down the drain.. sigh.. to sum it all up.. yuen mei is getting dumber by the second.. he.. he.. & crazier.. & weirder..

~freaky yuen mei~

Mizzy.. Borry.. Dreamy.. Holly!

Holly, holly, holly!! i've been waiting for holidays since april but it seems that holidays can be quite boring.. first of all, i'm too lazy to go out.. secondly, i've nothing to do at home.. sigh.. i seriously dunno wut i wanna do now.. well, i guess on the brighter side, i could at least sleep all i want & replenish my energy after those few days of sleepless nights during the exam & the workshop.. but i can't be sleeping all day.. i'll go mad although i love to sleep! why is my holidays so boring?? why did we have to cancel the singapore trip? i would love to attend the workshop in singapore.. but sigh.. i guess it was never meant to be.. then there's the trip to Genting with keat yee & sharron.. sorry guyz.. i really dun mean to back out like that.. but there r so many circumstances.. well, i guess there r many other chances.. jz tht this time round is not the right time.. Oh man!! this has gotta be my most pathetic yet free yet relaxing hollidays.. all i need to do & can do is sit back & relax.. not like it's a bad thing, since i'm too lazy to get out of my house, into the hot & humid air, i guess staying home is the best idea.. can't help feeling bored though.. that accounts for why am i blogging so often.. cz i'm so FREAKING BORED!!! oh God, help me!!

~boring old yuen mei~

Youth Alpha is finally over!!

Hooray!!! Youth alpha is finally over!!! sigh.. i never thought that i'll be so relieved when it's over.. after 3 months of working with this group of people, i guess we've learned a lot from each other.. more or less.. although i have my disatisfaction over certain things, but overall, i'm truly happy & proud that we've managed to pull it off.. youth alpha have been great overall.. the talk was great, the discussions were enlightening, though i've to admit í faced difficulties answering certain questions.. but however, i have to say that i've learned how to handle these questions.. being the group leader & all, i've definitely trained my patience, & honestly, it wasn't easy.. there were a few times where i nearly exploded but thank God i managed to contain it.. i'm not the type of person who would get mad or angry easily, in fact if i were to rate myself i guess i would say that it takes effort to make me get really agitated or frustrated over somethings or someone.. so, if anyone or anything that could cause me to nearly explode is no joke.. there were a few occasions that i really wished i wasn't there to take all those lame but hurtful criticism & jokes directed to me.. i noe i'm a very nice person to disturb & to tease & i dun really mind it provided if they dun go way overboard.. sigh.. some people seems to take this oppurtunity to 'climb over my head'.. but i did not approach or say anything just in case i hurt anyone.. so, i guess all i could do was just to ignore.. never i thought that it takes a lot of hardwork to ignore someone or somethings.. i really had it tough!! and all i could do was just to let it out to certain people.. feeling bad bout actually having to ignore instead of solving things.. feeling bad for that person as well.. but i'm really sorry, i really can't take it anymore.. it's really way beyond what i could handle.. bear in mind that if my actions ever hurt anyone, i'm truly sorry as i really did not meant it to hurt anyone.. besides, the myfers is like part of my family , extended family, & u people plays a vital role in my life.. family are supposed to stick together no matter what, & that's wut i intend to do.. i'm sticking to u guyz.. he.. he.. i jz pray & hope that this matters that we're encountering will be solved in the best way possible..

luv,
~yuen mei~

Heart Of Worship

The Heart of Worship!! i've always wondered wut does it means to praise & worship God.. is it merely an act to thank & praise & worship Him for who He is?? r we only restricted to singing?? to me, praise & worship has always meant singing, clapping, music & all sorts of worship songs dedicated to our Lord.. until i've been elected to be a worship leader, i never really knew wut was its purpose.. during this few years as a worship leader in my church, i've learned a bit more about true praise & worship but it's still a little of a blur to me.. i've attended worship workshop over the years & have picked up information here & there but i guess i'm such a 'numb-skulled' person & it takes time for such a person like me to understand.. however, pastor Cornelius & pastor Deborah seems to deliver the message on worship, praise & prayer very well.. we had worship workshop in church on thursday & friday.. pastor Cornelius & his wife, pastor Deborah was our guest speaker.. pastor Cornelius was such a sweet person, he's very bubbly & he can really make u roll of ur chair.. pastor Deborah is also a very sweet & cheerful person & gosh, her memory is damn good.. talk bout a person memorizing word-for-word the chapters of the bible.. wow!!! i can't even memorize the shortest chapter in the bible.. she's great & both of them are actually evangelising in singapore.. they're truly God's faithful & dedicated servants.. wut hit me the most in the session i guess was how pastor Cornelius related worship to Mary's incident with Jesus.. i've never looked at worship this way.. it was truly an eye-opener.. & i guess i've finally grasp the meaning of true worship.. the worship sessions we had during the workshop was filled with not only singing but dancing too!!! dancing as in not only jumping, dancing round with banners, ribbons, fans, or with every part of their body.. i was truly amazed at the sight.. i could fill the joy of God's people when they're praising Him.. & i've never thought that praise & worship could be done this way.. it is such a joy to see God's people having fun & having so much happiness, trust, faith & joy when praising Him.. then after the sessions, usually we'll have time of prayer till early morning.. prayer is truly powerful!! deliverance, miracles & healing will take place if only u ask & have faith.. i could feel the annointing & the holy spirit as it moves round the room touching each & everyone in the room!! though the deliverance of spirits were kinda scary but i've faith that nothing will be able to harm us because Jesus has won all battles for us.. all we need to do is only to believe! though i've been really exhausted due to lack of sleep ever since exams started, i'm glad i went for the workshop.. it was definitely the experience of the lifetime.. never had i thought of praise, worship & prayer in the way pastor Cornelius & pastor Deborah put it.. surely all praise, honour, glory & power goes to God & God alone!

peace out!!
~yuen mei~

Holly Holly... Mizzie holly!!!

finally, the semester is over.. sigh.. not tht it's a great thing to celebrate.. cz i noe the next semester will be 10 times worst.. but, well, i guess at least there's a week break.. sigh.. and the psychotic flu virus had to attack me of all days.. wut a bummer!!! there goes a few days of fun.. sigh.. stuck at home.. have to practice for the troublesome piano exam coming up.. can't believe i've only 2 months left to practice!! sigh.. i guess i should have completed it way back during form 3.. then i wouldn't be suffering now.. sigh.. my fault.. my fault.. yes!! & my fault again.. then there's the english test i screwed up badly the other day.. can't believe i had problem coming up with a factual essay!!! i wonder wut's wrong with me.. seriously.. then i had problems looking out for grammar mistakes!! what the heck!!! can't believe myself.. i noe i should've slept more before the exam.. sigh.. i din noe it'll cost me so much!! thought i could handle it but i'm jz too hopeless!!! on the brighter side, at least i could look forward to a whole week of hol without worrying bout assignments and exams.. and a whole week to catch up with my 'idiot box' and oso a whole week to catch up with my reading and a whole week to spend with my bed.. well, not too bad la.. desperately need my sleep.. i've been like a walking zombie for long enough.. guess it's time the zombie went back to her grave.. anyway, i guess i'm not making the singapore trip anymore.. another bummer!! everything doesn't seem to be going according to plan.. sobz.. hope the dinner this saturday will turn out well.. sigh.. i must be the most pathetic person ever to walk the earth!! y am i having such a miserable holiday?? y am i feeling so lousy?? i dun wanna be pathetic!!! sobz.. hopefully my hols will not turn out to be as bad as i think it will.. sighz..


~yuen mei over & out~

It has been a 'bloody' week!

I have never felt so tired ever since STPM ended! i've been staying up until 4 a.m. for the past few days.. whoa!! can't believe i made it through! to come to think bout it, i think i nearly fell asleep during my communication exam just now.. it has definitely been a very 'bloody' week.. the assignments, and the presentation nearly 'claimed' my life! thank God i managed to survive it & finally hand it in today.. sigh.. i've been working on those for the past month! & it took me 4 whole nights to polish up on it.. & yet, it still looks & sounds horrible! I think my english is getting from bad to worst! i can't even pronounce intriguing without screwing up the 'u' for the first time! damn it!!! i'm such a freak.. sigh.. & i jz screwed up a few questions during my communications exam today.. & it carries a whole damn lot of marks! what a waste! with english exam coming up tom, dun think i could count of getting much of a sleep tonite.. sigh.. it's jz not possible! i jz hope i dun screw up too badly tom.. or i'll be done for.. althought there's less to study compared to STPM but the workload's killer.. & this is only a short semester where i've only 2, YES 2!!, subjects to concentrate on.. & yet i can screw it up.. u can tell how bad & terrible i am.. the next semester is a long semester where i'm going to take up 5 to 7 subjects, depending on my capability.. i really wonder how i'll do.. probably i'll 'die' before i've even gone through half the semester.. actually i'm still amazed that i actually got through with STPM!! i can't wait till wednesday when i've 1 week break before the next semester.. i'm dying here!! i need rest! no proper sleep for 4 whole nites is driving me crazy.. sigh.. it's jz so sad that i've to stop procrastinating.. all the assignments didn't even allocate time for me to procrastinate.. probably it's a good thing but i guess when u're used to something, it's jz weird when u're not doing it anymore.. then there's the 'Miracle Healing' workshop coming up in singapore, which my mum ask me to attend it with her.. well, it's a good oppurtunity for me to relax in singapore & it's oso a chance for me to experience God's hand at work! can't wait to go.. but then again, i'll be in singapore for 4 to 9 days.. which means i'll most likely be missing on the celebration dinner with my youths on saturday.. sobz.. there goes the fun.. & since my new semester would be starting on the 22nd of May, i'll be missing the mission trip to Myanmar too.. but i guess there'll be other chances next time since i've got a whole lifetime ahead.. but it's jz too bad that i can't make it earlier.. hope that i'll be blessed with the privilege to bless others in need!!

1 Peter 3:9
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

My Thoughts?

Sigh.. sometimes i wonder if i'm weird.. my mum offered to buy me a makeup kit last week.. well, i guess as a normal girl, i should be thrilled.. but i wasn't really thrilled.. i kept asking my mum, y on earht do i need a makeup set?? i mean i dun even noe how to use it to begin with!! besides, i hate the smell & after applying it, my face doesn't feels like uhmm.. my face anymore.. & gosh, it's damn hard to wash it off after that.. well, the only time i apply makeup is during concerts or performances.. other than that, who cares if i put on makeup.. i mean, it's better to be natural rite?? well, i've to admit tht after having done makeover & all, i do look different, i guess prettier, but it doesn't look like me.. i look like someone else & honestly, i dun really noe if i like it.. sigh.. i remember one of my frenz told me once.. a gal's appearance is the most important posession & a gal's beauty is above all else.. but i think character is very important too.. it's not only beauty rite?? beauty is only skin deep.. besides, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.. moreover, i dun think i'm that bad.. sigh.. exam's next week & i'm not an ounce prepared.. i'm so bored but i dun feel like studying currently.. no mood to do anything nowadays.. sigh.. & assignments due on mon.. & i'm still on cloud 9.. wut to do?? buck up, yuen mei!! buck up or u'll nvr make it to california.. it's hard to be optimistic all the time.. & it's hard to be realistic all the time cz reality hurts!! no idea wut i'm crapping about, feeling crappy & bothered & sad & moody & i've no idea what else.. i miss being young.. i miss school.. i miss being care-free.. i miss no worries.. i miss bein happy-go-lucky.. i miss being me!! haven't really been myself this few weeks.. haven't been crazy.. haven't done any mistakes.. haven't been lazy!! not me at all! a lot has been goin in my mind.. no time to even think of being myself.. i think i'm bout to explode anytime soon..
honestly, i've no idea wut's the aim of this post.. probably jz voice out my disatisfaction of myself.. well, that's it.. i'm officially goin nuts.. that jz so proved tht i'm officially weird.. 'yay' me!!