Ma anniversaire!! (the blurrest story told..)

One sunny yet stressful day on November 16, 2008..

How I felt that day?
really stressed.. absent-minded.. blur to the max.. slow to react.. prolly wut was left was only my body.. my mind was definitely not intact..

Did I expect sth that nite?
Yes.. but only when i realize it was the 16th when my parents called.. otherwise.. i would still continue thinking it the 15th.. =.="

What was my reaction when I saw Yanru at my door?
Expected.. but.. did not expect them to make me earn my own birthday.. which include running around frantically looking for clues be4 every1 in the party got old waiting for me.. lol..

How did I enjoy the hunt?
was absent-minded the whole time.. brain jz refused to work altho deep down sumwhr in my brain at tht point of time, i knew the answer.. enjoyed the task too.. definitely a gud exercise and a stress reliever after 1 whole day of brain pain..

How did i feel after seeing the iPod?
I think that moment was the blurrest moment of my entire life.. I couldn't believe I was so absent-minded that I did not even notice the iPod hidden in the cake!!! I couldn't believe that maddy nearly made me stab the iPod.. i couldn't believe i did not notice it even when half of it was revealed.. & i thought it was the plate.. =.=" i couldn't believe i was so numb to excitement that i did not react the way i usually do when i'm downright excited.. urgh!! yesterday was too messed up.. my emotions were like everywhr at the wrong time.. i think i'm really more excited today over yesterday than yesterday.. yesterday was weirdly fun.. to come to think of it.. every1's look was classic when they did not see any reaction in me.. haha..

Was it the most memorable birthday?
It definitely was.. I feel so bad for always thinking that the best stuffs are always at home where my family is and forgetting to be contented with the good frenz I have here in the states with me.. i really do enjoy all my frenz here being with me.. i'm really blessed with the best family n the best of frenz n i really dun think there are better frenz to ask for than those i already have..

my wishes this birthday?
for many happy returns to my wonderful family and frenz.. i wish that the days we hv in the states will be a part of our memory from now.. till forever..

the greatest moment~~

it is true that it does suck being away from home and most of my frenz especially on my birthday.. and on top of that.. i had so many midterms and assignments due on my birthday and the day after.. a definite sucker punch in the face.. but.. i'm really thankful that God has blessed me with a big group of gud frenz here in the states.. frenz that accompanies me thru ups and downs.. frenz that causes my ups and downs.. =p and also frenz that teaches me lessons.. i was really touched.. sad.. happy.. a mixture of feelings when my loved ones webcam me from back home just to sing me my birthday song.. but it was sad how i had to end the conversation soon cz of those freaking assignments.. =(

then came nite.. expected it was.. but.. not like that.. definitely the first time people make me earn my own birthday.. lol.. and definitely my first time covered in nth but chocolate cream, chocolate cake, strings, and chemicals of all sorts.. i really do luv my frenz.. every single one of them.. my life in the states would nvr be the same without them.. it was defitely the most memorable surprise party.. helped me destress after a rough day.. made me earn my birthday.. covered me in 'stuffs'.. gave me an iPod.. rehearsed to sing me the perfect birthday song.. made me realize that i've a bunch of really great and crazy frenz which i would nvr trade with anything else in the world.. honestly.. the most valuable thing i've gained today wasn't the iPod.. it was knowing i've a group of sweet frenz that i would treasure and remember for life..

yanru -- thank u for sharing my ups and downs with me.. thank u for being there and understanding me.. we're similar in quite many ways that i think we could be mirror images.. i feel like i could be myself or whoever i wanna be when i'm with u.. tho we might not have known each other forever, but it does feel like so.. dun think i've to say much.. u noe wut i've to say, dun u?? luv ya..

kher yin -- we've been frenz since first week of TPM.. and i guess u noe almost 80% of who i am.. we've been thru the whole of upper tertiary education together.. not to say most of the malls in KL together.. thanks for listening to my probs.. lending me ur shoulder to cry on when i was seriously homesick out of my mind.. we might hv communicated less these days due to different class time but i do cherish our friendship.. *muacks*

john -- there's so much for me to say.. but to keep it simple.. gud memories are all tht remains.. and i do cherish every single moment i hv with u.. u've been a really amusing fren tho not a *fill in the blanks*.. but anyhow.. ur friendship means a lot to me.. i enjoy talking to u prolly cz it's really interesting how i could be both serious and sarcastic while talking to u.. *hugz*

sara -- among the residents of B10.. i noe u for the shortest duration of time.. but i really admire ur straight-forwardness.. ur firm stand.. shhh.. honestly.. u're kinda like my role model when it comes to responsibility.. cz u'll get things done.. thanks for everything ya.. the life lessons u taught me and the gud times we had.. luvs..

kan lun -- evil one!!! thank u for the listening ear when i had problems with u noe wut.. ohh.. and the amusing sarcasm u alwiz have.. but all in all.. thank u for the fun.. u're a gud playful fren.. ohh.. n honestly.. i'm not a lesbo who's into ur sis.. i jz do tht to annoy u.. =p

maddy -- donkey!!!! my listening ear.. crying shoulder.. teasing buddy.. stress reliever.. wow!! u're many things in 1.. but the main 1 is.. thank u for all the useful advice.. dun worry.. i will learn from my mistakes.. =)

peng chuan -- my hang out buddy, fahion advisor, reality checker who really slaps me into reality, interior designer, bank customer (since i'm the banker), and many other roles.. thank u for keeping my life interesting.. for accompanying me literally through my moody and downright sad times.. for harsh talks just to make me realize.. & lotz more.. *hearts*

abraham -- gym buddy!!! hehe.. thanks for making me sing and play the piano.. lol.. and for all the fun times.. u noe wut i enjoy most bout u?? ur laugh.. it has a lil musical tune in it.. =) laugh on bro!!!

zyrax -- for all the fun times.. the smack of chocolate right on my head.. the sarcastic remarks when i procrastinate.. that really kept me going for like a few seconds.. haha.. thanks~~

aaron -- for all the sarcastic remarks.. sumtimes i do wonder the truth value of it.. but then again.. hmm.. but nway.. u've been a fun person to hang out with.. a fun fren..

chris -- the person whom i used to had a crush on eh.. hehe.. not sure if u noe tht.. not really a crush but more like admiration.. used to had a thing for smart ppl.. but nway.. i enjoyed ur 'life' lessons on procrastination.. =p and all the other lfe lessons u had to offer.. ohh.. n guitar lessons too ya.. >.^ if i were to hv an elder bro, i want him to be like u.. =)

ho -- thanks for temaning me thru walks jz to destress.. =) *hugz*

oh God.. hv a lot more to go..

zibbie, priya, revs, rekaa (residents of 60F) -- thank u girls.. i luv u all.. *muacks*

raudee & choon -- thanks guyz.. sorry for the disappointment raudee.. i noe u expected some reaction from me today.. but.. i guess my brain was a wee too slow today.. =( & choon.. thanks for calling me a beaver.. now aaron wouldn't stop.. =.=" haha..

najmee & ubay -- thank u.. dunno how many times i've said tht but i really do mean it.. and ubay.. i want citizenship.. *winks* hehe.. joking.. =p

kamal & pohli -- the cutie couple.. tht's cz pohli is cute.. n kamal is jz another dota freak.. hehe.. but both of u are really sweet.. thank u so much ya..

julian & bonnie -- thank u for taking time off ya.. really enjoyed ur presence OLD buddy.. old but sexy la k.. hehe.. u're only sexy cz u've a cute & sexy gf.. =p

to those i missed.. u guyz mean a lot to me.. so much that u all are practically a part of my life rite now.. i might not be the nicest when it comes to being a fren.. prolly even a bad fren.. but u all still spend time and spared ur friendship with me.. and for tht i'm truly grateful.. i'll nvr ask for anything more than having all ur friendship..

my wishes this birthday actually goes to those i love, care for and who have played a part in moulding my life.. family.. frenz.. relatives.. every1 of u.. my prayers n wishes goes to u on this day..

~memories tht remains~

Hv been back in the States for nearly a month now.. Being back here, brings back memories of the past 6 months.. good or bad, well, i guess it will remain as part of my life forever now.. Summer back home was great!!! sometimes, i do hv this innocent thoughts of not coming back here, just staying back home, chilling out with family and frenz, doing wutever i feel like doing, no responsibilities.. no strings attached.. hmmm.. i guess i really hv been a lil wild during the summer break back home.. being back here, everything is so laid back that i'm beginning to feel tht time is freezing on me.. however, i have to say tht i'm enjoying this quarter.. the laidback momentum, with 1 language class and another history class which is really interesting and fun, besides the 2 hectic other class.. i think i'm juggling time pretty well tho.. at least i've ample time to procrastinate.. yea.. to some who noe me as the queen of procrastination, i'm doing it again.. yay me!! =p hmmm.. i guess everything is pretty well and normal compared to the past few months ago where i guess my life was a whole lot of havoc, trauma and chaos.. tried to wipe out all memory regarding certain things, person, events.. haha.. but obviously i failed miserably.. if there's such thing then every1's life would only encompass happy endings.. so.. since i couldn't wipe out my own memories, guess i have no choice but to live with it.. the past is not an issue anymore.. things r up n about.. great n going.. can't wait to graduate, check out US, tour europe, and get my butt out of this country asap!! there's still no place like home.. ohh.. my vegas trip was superb.. photos will be up soon on my blog i hope.. =S but.. it's up on facebook ady.. so ppl who're dying to see can go hv a peek.. =p

*this post is a rough update.. more updates soon.. i noe wendee dying to noe dy.. hehe.. =p*

Why?!

Perfectly Good Heart - Taylor Swift

Maybe I should've seen the signs, should've read the writing on the wall

And realized by the distance in your eyes that I would be the one to fall

No matter what you say I still can't believe

That you would walk away

It don't make sense to me but

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart

Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart now

Why would you wanna make the very first scar

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart

*past is past.. gotta let go..*

I'm back home!!!! back in my own comfy sanctuary..

exam fever~~

it is that time of the quarter again!!!

hate exams!!

have been pulling 3 all-nighters in a row!!! tht's gonna do some pretty bad damage but who cares!! i'm goin home in 4 days.. argh!!! the wait is killing me!!! but jz thinking of being home is happy enough.. can't wait to be back for the summer tho i would prolly hv to work my ass of during the internship.. =(

*yuen mei knows that home awaits*

hectic, hectic & nth but more hectic~

yay!! there's officially 1 month more be4 i reach home!!! the wait is killing me but i noe it'll be worth every second of the wait.. got an internship at some bionexus status company in KL.. it's kinda sad that i'll hv to work during the 3 months 'supposed' holiday back home.. but i guess.. as long as i'm home, nth seems to matter anymore.. home is the one & only place where i feel comfortable and safe.. my hiding place, my shelter..

but in this 1 month be4 home..

i've tons of assignment to complete be4 the due dates.. mostly next week.. i'm so dead!! jz completed 1 which was due today and that has cost another sleepless night.. consequences?! slept during biochemistry lecture & the lecturer caught me 'fishing'.. sighz.. can't seem to stop embarassing myself even in the states.. =( with so many midterms, assignments, quizzes, discussions due round the corner.. i can't help but feel the stress & pressure.. think my brain is really quite mashed already..

on the other hand..

besides being stressed over academic stuffs.. i guess there's the other thing i've been stressing over for the past month too.. but i guess that's something which i could not control.. only fate will decide the outcome.. so.. i guess doing whatever i feel like doing is good provided i don't go overboard and provided i could get a grip of myself!! NOT gonna let go.. wanna hold on till the day i would eventually let go with no aches in the heart.. still hoping there's a chance there but.. well..

*yuen mei is very tired & exhausted due to stress*

HAPPIE MUMMIE'S DAY!!!!!!!!!

I MISS U & LOVE U, MUM!!!!

for everything u've done,
i'm truly grateful..

i really really thank God for giving me such a lovely, caring, the most wonderful mummie in the whole wide world.. =)

~wish i could be back home to celebrate it with u mum~

life is full of games and tricks..

Everytime I'm half-way reaching my point of destination, something happens and it holds me back!


I'm DONE trying..

for now.. I shall do things according to my emotions for a change.. first thing that comes to mind.. dangerous but.. who knows.. might work??

*emotionally exhausted*

~cry of the heart~

the heart is one of the most dangerous organ in the body.. can't live without it but at the same time it could cause so much confusions and illusions.. no idea if what i'm going thru now or what i'm feeling now is sincere but.. i guess there are certain things that i really do not wanna let go.. but circumstances does not allow me to hold on any longer.. no matter how much i wished it had all gone well, i guess sometimes it's just life.. not everyone gets what they desire.. the lights have been turned on and the fog and mist are melted and carried away by the sun's heat ray and the wind.. what seemed like a total blur the past few weeks is suddenly crystal clear.. the statements some people made the previous nite has clear and obvious intentions.. intentions that gave me reasons to stop hallucinating.. reasons to stop being so naive.. reasons to feel all the more hurt.. reasons to feel the long prickly needle piercing thru the tender lining of the heart.. reasons to cry my heart out.. reasons to blame myself for being such an idiot.. reasons to stop believing that probably there's still something there.. i know that no matter how much i wish that the memories i had the past 2 months are the memories that i would be continuing in the future, it wouldn't come to past.. all that's left are just memories to be kept.. wouldn't try holding on but it wouldn't be easy to let go.. some part of me still really really wish that someday history will repeat itself but this time with a more pleasant ending.. probably that's just the emotional, naive side of me.. the naive side that has always wished to be living in a conducive, fairytale-like virtual world.. I really really want this to end soon!! I'm really tired of faking my daily life!!! It's not easy to laugh when you feel like crying.. or smile when you feel like breaking down.. or to pretend to feel nothing about it when in actual fact the heart is bruised to the extend that it would start bleeding anytime.. and it definitely is not easy to hold your tears from rolling down your cheeks in front of people.. it is very ironic how I always end up facing my fears and my weaknesses.. is this really how people grow?! thru all these pain and hurts?!

conciousness taking over but it's just not enough

*wishing to be not so naive*

'No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.'

I was feeling all jumbled up with thoughts until a friend quoted this phrase a few hours ago.. it then hit me so hard that it really slapped me out of my own thoughts that hey!! he's right.. no one or no person is worth my tears and misery.. it's just that it's just so hard to put it into actions instead of just mere words.. i'm made out of flesh and blood and hey!! cut me or smack me, i'll bleed and i'll hurt and i'll most probably be screaming on top of my lungs for all who know me well.. but i guess i am trying really really hard to put the past behind me.. sometimes i do have my own naive thoughts and wishes but after all i've gone through, there's no space for naive and kiddish thoughts and actions anymore.. life isn't like what pop-up fairytale books states.. it's far complicated, cold, harsh and traumatising.. tomorrow might be another day but who knows what's gonna happen at the end of today.. guess that's life.. we'll never know if we'll get hurt today or tomorrow until we actually feel the pain of the injury..

For all who have been concerned with my well being due to my emotional and gloomy post these few days, i'm so sorry for causing any discomfort and worries.. i believe time will play it's part.. in the meantime, i guess all i could do is try to chill and not to let my emotions affect any1 else..

*still praying hard that things will work out for the better*

season change.. things change..

i still miss certain things.. things may change and tables may be turned on me.. wish i could let go already.. but.. i guess i sank in a lil too much to feel nth bout it.. if only feelings could be manipulated easily then i wouldn't hv to go thru all these now.. can't wait for summer to arrive.. another season, hopefully another change for the better.. considerations to be made, brokenness to be patched, decisions and alterations to be decided and made up, internships to be completed, basically, i'm positively sure everything will be different after summer.. jz hope it's for the better.. won't get my hopes up and ending up giving myself too much false hope but.. i trust God will help me thru, jz pray tht I wouldn't mess things up by being disobedient..

summer will make the difference!!

*still feeling sore & broken but trying hard to stand firm*

a tear is jz a laughter away??

there's been so much goin on these days that i almost lost track of how much i've been going thru and how long the whole phase is taking.. it's so hard to feel sad and hurt but at the same time have to pretend that i'm cool and chilling bout it.. can't really cry it out or scream it out.. so the other best alternative i guess is to smile and laugh it out.. at least if i laugh hard enough and tear, i would have a reason for crying.. being hyper and active in order to not think and focus so much on the hurts is really tiring.. but i really can't figure out another way except to tire myself and wear myself out to prevent unnecessary thoughts.. guess it does take a long time to recover from hurts.. i believe that time will play it's role and God will help me thru it.. guess in the end, there is not much external issue but it's jz if i can get over myself and my internal conflict.. this sucks.. i'm such a lousy and emotional loser.. needa be stronger to survive in a reality tht's harsh and cruel.. no more naive thoughts..

can't wait till summer!!!

*trying to return to my comfort zone*

~~over~~

the one month plus roller coaster ride has finally come to an end.. relieved yet at the same time i can't help but feel sad.. wish i have a memory eraser or a time machine.. that would be freaking darn cool not to say useful for moments like this..

*Yuen Mei is trying to put things behind*

helpless~~

i feel so helpless~~ certain truth sucks but.. i guess i'd rather know than to be ignorant bout it tho.. it was so predictable even since the beginning.. but.. i guess i was only human.. people really does silly things when they're not rational enough.. not regretting my decisions but still wishing for the ideal outcome..

some people say that life is a piece of cake.. life is a wonderful journey to embark in.. but i guess i've a different view to life eversince stepping foot into the State.. life is just one damn thing over and over.. routine routine and more routines.. probably it's like what certain people say.. life is never fair.. it is just fairer than death, that's all..

not really sure why i'm always flooded with negative thoughts here.. just can't wait to be home for good!!

MAIN GOAL:

FINISH UP MY SUBJECTS AND GRADUATE ASAP!!!

BLESSED EASTER EVERYONE!!!!

may every1 be blessed and merry.. God gave His Son that HE may die for our sins.. how wonderful such love that we take for granted.. may the true meaning of easter prevail within the hearts' of HIS faithful followers at least..

*yuen mei misses Easter celebration back home!*

crossroads

i'm such a disappointment!!!!!!!

i'm so so sorry mum & dad, grandma & every1 who has their hopes in me!!

tht's just my limits.. i can't go any further.. i dun think i would hv done better even if i've studied any more than this.. it's really my best.. guess i'm jz not wut every1 expects.. i was fooled too into believing tht i was better than this.. so much for every1's faith and believe in me.. i dun even wanna start describing how bad i suck.. but for now.. i'm jz sad and guilty tht i've disappointed mum & dad and my family..

i'm so so sorry!!!!!!!!!

what am i to do now?!?! if i retake the subject, i would delay graduation for about 2 quarters.. am i to live with a sucky grade?? it hurts my eye to look at it.. it pains my heart to think tht my intelligence & effort is only worth tht much.. the fact tht i can't live up to people's expectations and my own expectations annoys me!! probably sum1 is jz very rite.. i needa get a life!!!

*lost.. paranoid..*

at wit's end..

finally lost it!!! lost half my mind studying genetics~~ and still screwed up for finals.. who on earth stares at a single paragraph for more than an hour?!?! arghhhh!!!!!!!! guess i'm jz glad is over and done for.. 1 down 2 more papers to go?!?! *sobz* if only i were home i won't be this stressed.. i miss home!!!!!!!!!!!

at the other end of the line...

something jz feels wrong.. doesn't seem right.. i guess it is wrong but.. i'm lost.. i dunno wut to do.. i dun like this!!!!!!! feels like i've totally lost control of my life and wut i'm doin ever since i'm here..

*stress poses all sorts of threat to my state of mind*

EXAMS!!!

FINALS!!!!!!!!!

i'm stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & i think it's a lil too much to handle.. beyond stressed.. =( *sobz*

~yuen mei's screaming her head off to release tension and stress~

some more random pics~~

once upon a strawberry?!?! =pthe patch of strawberry plants at farmstore next to the university village..

Free strawberry ad?!?!

the siamese strawberry?!?! *lolz*

on the other hand..

hadn't much time to take pictures around campus to show many of u.. so sorry.. will upload more when i snap more?!?! *if i snap more that is.. =p* in the meantime, here are some?

the 'pointy' building!!! or so every1 calls it.. =p

nice nice smelling lavender..

i still miss home!!!!!!

decisions?!?!

am still wondering how would things turn out to be.. some things happen for the better, some just took place coincidentally and some just happens for the worst.. i wonder which will this turn out to be.. in the meantime, i guess i'm happy and comfortable with it.. guess it's really time to let past be past.. living the present without regrets and looking forward to a fruitful future?!?!

*yuen mei's thinking too hard nowadays* ~there goes her brain cells, as if she has any left~ =(

fragments..

some things happened.. i noe they did.. but i just can't remember what.. my memory is so fragmented.. a few screenshots and the rest a blur.. God!!!! guess that's how people who has lost their memories feel.. sighz.. everything seemed like a dream.. both sweet and bitter at the same time.. urgh!!!!!!!!! y do i feel that i don't control my own life??

i miss home!!!!!! nothing bad ever happens to me when i'm home!!!!!!!

i hate my sucky sucky life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

confused..

Am i too insensitive?!?! or am i overly sensitive?!?! how can a person switch from being cold to warm and back to cold in a matter of minutes?!?!? is that even humanly possible?? urgh.. it makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me and the way i interpret stuffs..

AND

in the meantime.. midterms, assignments and reports are still driving me nuts!! last week has gotta be the killer week thus far.. 3 more weeks and my long awaited break shall arrive..

*yuen mei's trying to be really patient*

music~~ food to the soul~~

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.

Victor Hugo

Music should strike fire from the heart of man, and bring tears from the eyes of woman.

Ludwig Van Beethoven

If music be the food of love, play on.

Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

can't believe i'm saying this but.. i miss my piano!!!!!!!!! i miss my pieces!!!!! i miss the music, the melody, the touch and the ring of my piano.. it has been a part of me for so long that more often than not i've taken it for granted.. frequently expressing my dissatisfaction and dread over how i hated practising day and night for exams.. but now.. i guess there wouldn't be anymore practising or wutsoever.. i haven't been playing the piano for one and a half month now!!! i miss it!!!!!!!!!! guess hitting the piano when i'm stressed is of no use over here.. =(

i miss my piano!!!!

random..

Random pictures eversince i've been in the states.. haven't been taking pictures much..

The ZHI MUIS aka housemates aka the 3 Bs (according to peng chuan =.=")

Other random pictures?!?!

here are some clues as of how my chinese new year went huh.. i miss CNY back home!!!! miss going to homes to pai nian.. hehe.. but anyhow.. i'm glad and thankful for supportive friends here who have been great help to the struggles that i've been through and which i'm going thru..

I MISS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

but.. won't be going back in summer.. but i promise i'll be back end of the year!!

people i miss all these while..

it's almost 2 months.. never realize how much i love everyone back home until i'm away from it.. made me realize how much i've always take things for granted and how ungrateful i was when i had everything..

my dear parents.. wouldn't be where i am and what i am without you.. *heart* i'll face every challenge with a positive mindset.. i promise..

the person who brought me up.. be safe.. you promised to watch me graduate.. i won't disappoint you~~

you guyz drive me crazy all the time but i'm missing you like nuts now.. how i miss fighting with you.. to sheng yong: i miss you very much!!! i'll always be here for you if you need me.. you can count on me just like i can count on you.. study hard ya.. academic stuffs should not get the better of us rite?!?!

missing you.. don't be such a cry baby k.. bet you're having fun exploiting my room. =p let me know if kor kor bully you.. i'll scold him.. *hehe*

my beloved angels who constantly drives me up the wall.. i miss you all!!! lets bridge again when i'm back.. be good ya~~

the apple of my eye!! breaks my heart when you stare at me as if i'm a stranger over the webcam.. thank God you recognize me eventually.. =)

my dearest abby!!! u would probably be really big when i'm back.. wonder if you would still recognize me.. *hmmm*

the greatest gift God has bestowed to me.. a group of great friends whom i know i can always trust..
the partners in bullying crime!! sorry for abandoning you.. will be back soon.. wait for me ya..
the victim.. i still miss 'bullying' you!!

you have no idea how much i miss you!! please fix your internet connection asap!! =(

i'll be back really soon!! missing my zhi muis!!! plan plan.. lets go somewhere!!! HOLIDAY!!!=p

urgh!!! i miss my family and friends too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(

thank God for memories..

i'm depressed!!!!!!! confused!!!!! stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!

my very own thoughts are driving me crazy!! =(

too many things to complete.. too many things to think about.. my brain's capacity jz ain't enough..

~~ friends~~

some quotes for my beloved friends!!! long time since i've posted some decent 'literatury' posts.. =p

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.

Frank Crane

When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

Edgar Watson Howe

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend.

Albert Camus

The best time to make friends is before you need them.

Ethel Barrymore

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

Arnold H. Glasgow

The road to a friend's house is never long.

Danish Proverb

Be a friend to thyself, and others will be so too.

Thomas Fuller

Happy Valentines to all my beloved friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the beginning of the quarter..

it's the third day of official campus life at cal poly pomona and there's already like tonnes of readings to do.. tonnes of assignments waiting for me to get started on.. and homework piling.. and the best part, my quizzes and exams starts next week.. i haven't even time to start adapting and here they are already trying to kill me with workload.. the worst subject is political science!!!!! why on earth do i have to study bout the american government?!?!?! it's not like i'm gonna be a citizen here.. and it's not like i'm even trying to apply for PR here.. i've no clue what the hell the lecturer is babbling about.. and i can't give any opinions or views when he asks questions in class.. he luvs to question his students and heck.. i'm always in the first 2 rows.. sighz.. i can't sit at the back as the americans are tall and big ppl.. they'll just block my view and i can't allow tht to happen.. well.. at least i've plenty of things to keep me busy for the time being and it sorta takes my mind off home.. campus is really big.. dah la in TPM oso i can get lost in the library, over here i could get lost anywhere.. being lazy to walk is a thing of the past.. since my mum is way back in m'sia, there's no one else to fetch me where ever i wanna go.. and transportation sucks here, so i'll just have to depend on my legs i guest.. planning to get a car here with my frenz if it's not too expensive tho.. otherwise i'll just walk i guess.. it's kinda hard to walk in the cold, dry weather tho.. can hardly breathe.. sighz.. now it's jz back to reading, reading, and more reading.. wonder when will i complete so many articles and chapters.. God save me!!!!!!!! =(

SHOPPING!!!!!!!!

hehe.. went shopping today.. omg.. branded stuffs are so much cheaper here.. especially when there's clearance sales now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this place is a shopping heaven for branded stuffs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but sadly.. i can't find shoes and pants my size here.. =( everything is so big!!!!!!!!!!!!! but at least got 2 lip gloss from victoria's secret.. it's a freaking 10usd for 2.. hehe.. got it during sales.. so cool!!!!!!!!!!! branded stuffs r so cheap.. i'm so getting a blackberry be4 i go back.. or when i get my ssn code.. then i can get a blackberry with wifi n everything for bout 300usd only!!!!!!!!!!!!! y buy in m'sia for 2000 over ringgit when u can get it here for bout 1100 ringgit only!!!!!!!!!!! wakaka.. but i spent a lot for transport.. it's a darn 1usd for every bus trip.. to n fro would be 2usd dy.. so so freaking damn expensive.. spent 12usd jz on bus ride this week.. eeyyeerr.. so much for saving lo.. can't save on anything 1.. by the time i convert it's so expensive ady.. n the worst part is.. i've to use my legs all the time.. sobz!!!!!!!!!!! hv to walk so much!!!!!!!!! campus is so so far from my apartment.. it's like walking from TPM to sri saujana.. if u all noe where's tht.. i think 1 day i've walked as far as from kl centre all the way back to OUG.. no joke wei.. hv to walk everywhere i go.. n there's no specific mall where u can get everything from 1 place.. there's a special mart where u get food n grocery stuffs, a special shop for furniture, special shop for electrical appliances, n another shop fro stationaries n other miscellaneous items.. damn ma fan rite.. instead of getting all in 1 place, i've to walk to 5 different places to finish shopping.. n the places are like damn freaking far lo.. i feel faint at the end of everyday.. n hv to wait 30 to 40 mins outside in the cold for bus.. damn!!!!!!!!!! i miss home!!!!!!!! i'm really OUT of my comfort zone dy.. waaaaaaaaaa........ =(

DAMN!!!!!!!!!! it RAINED today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
& as if it's not cold enough it had to pour the whole day.. it's soo cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss the weather back home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss sweating.. i hardly sweat here.. actually.. more like.. i've never sweat in a week.. =(

I'm FREEZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's so DAMN cold at night!!!!!!!!

guess i shouldn't complain so much.. Christine's place could be 10x colder.. =(